Caged Animals. AKA The Place I Found My Wife.

A lot of my friends, who I actually don't share many values with, are of the Mormon faith. I say that we don't share many values because unlike my friends of the faith, I don't have many problems with people living the way they want to live. Like Gay Marriage. I have no problem with it whatsoever. I mean, if people are in love, people are in love. Can't stop that in any way. If there is an attraction that can't be helped, who are we to say they can't go after that feeling of love and comfort? Although, I do share the views of not drinking, smoking, doing drugs or anything else that is gonna harm my body. That is the one huge view I have in common with my fellow Mormon compatriots. The whole no evil thought, no sex before marriage, no any kind of lust at all is a bit beyond for me as well. I mean, it's human nature to do the things we do. We can't deny basic human instincts that come naturally to us. We are barely above animals in some ways. With most of this aside, the reason for this little tale here is one part of the LDS church that I have a curious eye on. The Singles Ward. I was unaware of this specific ward for an unusually long period of time. A former member of the LDS church myself until I ran screaming for the hills, (Not literal.) I found it extremely interesting that a need for this ward even existed. I exited the church somewhere in between my sophomore and junior year of high school. So it's a little bit after that time that they introduce you to the Singles Ward. I must admit that the LDS church got me young. Well, I should say my parents and us kids just followed along. I always felt like an outsider in the church because I found out, even at that young age, that that's the way the church is supposed to make you feel. Like an outsider. They said that there is this magical place somewhere exclusive only to people who have died. A dead club with people who led 'good lives' based on a holy spirit and father. It was all a bit much for me to swallow at a young age. Like an outsider. If that was there objective to make me feel that way, than they succeeded with flying, bleeding, vile, disgusting colors. So I left. I didn't like feeling that way and I felt pity for the kids who still believed in all that. But do what they did, I can't stop them. After leaving, it was years after that I found out about this Singles Ward. I found out through a coworker. He mentioned, I believe, it was some kind of dance at the 'Singles Ward.' That was the first time I actually heard the term, 'Singles Ward.' It immediately had my attention. I then brutally interrogated him about this seemingly obscure, almost embarrassing, underground section of the LDS church. He then began to explain to me the creation of the Singles Ward and why it was there. This coworker of mine who I was questioning was also a former missionary. So this guy had done the whole nine yards. Went and trained at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) in the heart of Mormon country, Utah and had done his time abroad in the world teaching others about the LDS way of life. In his journey he went over seas and had to learn the Spanish language. He was fully into this religion, which at times, completely bewildered me. Ongoing with my 'interview' I had to ask again, why was there a Singles Ward? To me, it was nearly ludicrous that such a thing existed. It was almost an insult for these kids and young adults to be a part of the Singles Ward. With my curious nature, I grilled him and asked him questions he had never been asked before I'm sure. I asked him if he thought, that personally, it was an insult that to be admitted to the Singles Ward? Like it was a LDS Psych ward. Or even an Image ward because it involved, what I imagined, were the rejects of the LDS young adult crowd. Kids and young adults who couldn't find a date or were not attractive enough to acquire a mate. And with the whole reason of repopulating the earth with 'good children' I think that the higher ups of the LDS church created this ward because lets face it, every single part of life has it's 'nerds' or 'geeks' in it. Even the 'true religion' of God. How do we get these unfortunate young ones to help us with our master plan of repopulating the earth? We make this secret section of the LDS church and name it the Singles Ward. Where we can force kids and young adults to have to be in constant contact with members of the opposite sex in order to commit to a relationship and have children. Eventually, they will wear down and have relations with the people they see everyday. It's nearly on the borderline of a forced marriage. "If you can't find anyone, we will find one for you!" This whole idea of the Singles Ward came as a shock to me and was right up there with the Catholic church being embarrassed about the exorcism idea. Surprisingly and even funny, this entire idea and judgement came to me from an episode of Seinfeld. I know it's a bit strange but it's true. Everything is a bit easier to fathom with a little bit of comedy in it. I pieced together everything when I heard this line. In the episode, George Costanza says, "You know how you get animals to reproduce in captivity?! You just put them in the same cage!" Well said, Mr Costanza, well said...